The Filipino/Singapore Spirit

The best airport - Changi

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Today is the start of my 2-year sabbatical. I call it a sabbatical even though a friend of mine said to me while we were in a pub that the term is only appropriate if I have a confirmed position … Continue reading

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A Reminder Video, Reminder Moment

Jose’s mother passed away a few days ago with a brain hemorrhage that occurred while she was having lunch with a friend. She was rushed to the hospital while in a coma and was  declared brain dead a few hours after the incident occurred. She was in the ICU for a certain time and Jose went to the UK to remove the ventilator from her.

I can’t seem to get away from it, although very different from my father’s own circumstances, the image of the ICU, the ventilators, the news of brain death and the final moments of life reminded me of that moment with my father when his heart fluctuated its beat and then I saw him pass away. It is strange how memories are engrained in our minds, certain triggers, certain emotions, certain events cascade to remind us of deep emotions. Today I remember very vividly the final moments of my father’s life like it was just a few minutes ago. I see in slow motion of what has occurred, how my mom held my father’s hand, how my sister knew that it was really time, how the doctors suddenly stepped back, kept quiet and let us have our moment of grief.I remember their own tears, my own sorrow, my mother’s grief.

I know dear readers, it seems like another sad blog but I guess it is my way of remembering, a way of understanding my own sorrow, my nonchalant way of dealing with my own emotions. Tomorrow, I may remember nothing again.

Crazy Dreams

wishing

I heard this beautiful music from Smash. Just in line with what I feel for the moment, in this state of dream, of aspiring for something seemingly crazy.  I am not really the type to post songs in blogs but I am making an exemption today. The music is hopeful, easy and beautifully sang just the way I like it. Although this is a Carrie Underwood original, the rendition of Megan Hilty is much more appropriate.

“Crazy Dreams”

Hello you long shots

You dark horse runners

Hairbrush singers, dashboard drummers

Hello you wild magnolias

Just waiting to bloom

There’s a little bit of all that inside of me and you

Thank God even crazy dreams come true

I stood at the bottom of some walls I thought I couldn’t climb

I felt like Cinderella at the ball just running out of time

So I know how it feels to be afraid

Think that it’s all gonna slip away

Hold on, hold on

Here’s to you free souls, you firefly chasers

Tree climbers, porch swingers, air guitar players

Here’s to you fearless dancers, shaking walls in your bedrooms

There’s a lot of wonder left inside of me and you

Thank God even crazy dreams come true

Never let a bad day be enough

To go and talk you in to giving up

Sometimes everybody feels like you

Oh, feels like you, just like you

Yeah

I’ve met some go-getters

Some difference makers

Small town heroes, and big chance takers

I’ve met some young hearts with something to prove

Oh, yeah

Here’s to you long shots

You dark horse runners

Hairbrush singers, and dashboard drummers

Here’s to you wild magnolias

Just waiting to bloom

There’s a little bit of all that inside of me and you

Thank God even crazy dreams come true

Thank God even crazy dreams come true

Yeah

Tonight I Can Write The Saddest Lines

A poem for those who were hurt or are hurting. It was given to me by someone very close to me. i first heard it in audio format and i tell you, this is quite sad. hopefully you who reads my blogs will not experience the pain of being left by someone you love dearly. sometimes, we are faced with so much pain in our lives that not even words can describe our feelings.

Tonight I Can Write The Saddest Lines

by Pablo Neruda

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
Write, for example,’The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.’

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another’s. She will be another’s. Like my kisses before.
Her voide. Her bright body. Her inifinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that’s certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my sould is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

transferred from Friendster Blog written last 23 Dec 2005

Comments:

Leslee leelee_502@yahoo.com:

“I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.”

“She loved me, sometimes I did love her too.”–> ang bothering ng mga linyang ito. parang hindi nila mahal ang isa’t isa all the time. it seems conditional.